And Hold the Relish!

OMeyerThe Wienermobile in action

With the recent deaths of Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Robert McNamara  dominating the obituary pages, many of you may be unaware that Oscar Mayer, grandson of the famed wiener empire founder, passed away this week at the age of 95. According to TMZ, one of Mayer’s dying wishes was that his funeral should not be led by the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile, a hot-dog-shaped vehicle used in countless corporate promotions and, apparently, many previous Mayer family funerals. Reportedly, Mayer’s wishes called for “a small private funeral.”


1 comment July 9, 2009
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Right-wing Loonies Read my Blog!


Q: Why does NYTimes Book Review editor Sam Tanenhaus wear that shit-eating grin?

A: Because he really does eat shit!

Last week’s post on the nepotism/conflict-of-interest scandal at the New York Times book review seems to have gotten picked up (without attribution!) by a bunch of right-wing wacko bloggers who have recast the story as a case of liberal media bias. These guys only know one tune and they whistle it all day long, so it’s worthwhile to revisit the facts to set things straight.

For those of you who don’t remember last week’s post:

Gawker reports that Lynn Dolnick, a member of the ruling Sulzberger family and a director of the Times corporate board, appears to be receiving more than her share of deference from the supposedly independent editors of the book review. They’ve gone into overdrive promoting a mediocre biography of an art forger by Lynn Dolnick’s husband Edward Dolnick even though everyone from The Chicago Tribune to the New Yorker says that another new book on the same subject–totally unmentioned by the Times’ book reviewers–is far better.

Now the issue here, as far as I can tell, has nothing to do with liberal bias. Having done a little research (much as I hate work in any form) it turns out that the other book is called “The Man Who Made Vermeers” by an author named Jonathan Lopez, and it is not particularly more conservative or liberal than Dolnick’s book. It’s just deeper and better written, at least according to Peter Schjeldahl of the New Yorker, who cites the Lopez book for its “profoundly researched, focused, absorbing depth.”

So, the point isn’t that the Times is run by a bunch of liberal sacks of shit. The point is that it’s run by a bunch of pompous, lying sacks of shit. And therein lies the critical difference.

For instance, consider the case of well-known pompous sack of shit Sam Tanenhaus, editor of the Times book review. In a recent interview in – where else? – the Times, he held forth on how great and important the NYTBR really is:

Our mission is very simple: to publish lively, informed, provocative criticism on the widest-possible range of books and also to provide a kind of snapshot of the literary culture as it exists in our particular moment through profiles, essays and reported articles. There are many, many books published each year – hundreds stream into my office in the course of a week. Our job is to tell you which ones we think matter most, and why…

How many people reading this self-important crap would know that the real reason Tanenhaus thinks a book “matters” is that it was written by the dilettante scribbler husband of his boss’s cousin, who just happens to own a couple million shares of NYT Company stock herself, personally? Is there a footnote to Tanenhaus’s interview that tells us, uhm, that he’s actually just a corporate lackey who does what the fuck he’s told? Or maybe we’re supposed to assume that anyone who looks like such an obvious a-hole has to be full of shit…

In any case, liberalism has got nothing to do with it.

11 comments July 7, 2009
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Why did Sarah Palin Quit?


Is she planning a new career playing Tina Fey on SNL?

Palin’s wacky, rambling, semi-incoherent resignation announcement – delivered Friday, on her front lawn in Wasilla, before the assembled multitude of her immediate family, three next-door neighbors, and a local camera crew – gave zero indication what the Alaskan political diva is likely to do next.

Considering that Mike Huckabee has been entertaining himself and a pretty sizable TV audience with his talk show on Fox News, our guess is that Palin, who has already inked a $7 million book deal, will be landing a gig on the airwaves soon too. “Field Dress a Moose with Sarah” on “Fox and Friends”?

Or how about “Drill Baby, Drill” – the Sarah Palin MILF reality show we’ve all been waiting for on Showtime After Dark? It could give new meaning to the term boob tube. And maybe slut daughter Bristol (a.k.a. Wasilla’s Mattress) can be worked into the storyline…

Add a comment July 5, 2009
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Madoff Gets 150 Years in the Pokey

Bloomberg News reports that “Bernard Madoff was sentenced to 150 years in federal prison for masterminding the largest Ponzi scheme in history, a penalty six times longer than those meted out to the chief executives of WorldCom Inc. and Enron Corp.”

And in the year 2159, people will still line up around the block to kick his sorry thieving geriatric butt. (Not reported by Bloomberg)

Add a comment June 29, 2009
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Michael Jackson: Drugs Likely Cause of Death


TMZ says “it increasingly looks like Michael Jackson died from a drug overdose.”

Earlier TMZ reported that Jackson got a Demerol injection the morning he died. They also believe more than one drug may have been involved.

The LAPD is still conducting an active investigation

See Also

1 comment June 29, 2009
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Don’t Trust the MSM!

Bioimage Lynn G DolnickSeveral blogs we follow have been howling about sleazy behavior at the oh-so-high-brow New York Times Book Review. Lynn Dolnick, a member of the ruling Sulzberger family and a director of the Times corporate board, appears to be receiving more than her share of deference from the supposedly independent editors of the book review. They’ve gone into overdrive promoting a mediocre biography of an art forger by Lynn’s husband Edward Dolnick, even though everyone from The Chicago Tribune to the New Yorker says that another new book on the same subject–totally unmentioned by the Times’ book reviewers–is far better. Gawker, which is the real newspaper of record as far as we’re concerned, seems to have broken the story first, but it’s also gotten play in the NY Post, Galleycat, Litopia, etc. The story has even made it into 2nd Life, where a totally hot virtual-reality avatar named Lillie Yifu has read both books and weighed in against the Times nepo-tome. Personally, we’re always willing to take book recommendations from a slinky cartoon girl with a truly banging bod. (Check out hot Lillie, below.)


Add a comment June 27, 2009
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Let the Vampire Wars Begin



Enough with all of these pointless debates about which is better: Aliens or Predators, ninjas or pirates, strippers or… well, nothing is better than strippers. It is finally time to get down to something far more meaningful: TRUE BLOOD or TWILIGHT.

Now, you’re probably asking yourself – do I really care? And the answer is definitely not. However, in the interest of seeing a bunch of teenage girls who live, breathe, and obsess over everything TWILIGHT, let’s run with it.

In an interview with Marie Claire, the star of TRUE BLOOD Stephen Moyer threw down the gauntlet on this pointless vampire comparison, and gave a pretty indication as to who he thinks is awesome and who is not when you put him up around Robert Pattinson.

“He’s a pussy! He’s the Slim-Fast, Diet Coke of vampires.”

Wow… them be fightin’ words. Of course after hearing this, TWILIGHT fans ran into their rooms crying hysterically about how someone could talk about Edward like that, before their parents told them to shut up and go to sleep, because they had school in the morning.

It looks like Team True Blood is joining the mix for supernatural supremacy, and who can blame them? They’re on HBO, and they show Anna Paquin naked just about every episode. In my book, that’s an automatic win over a boring series of movies with uninteresting characters and awful actors that follow a story where nothing ever happens.


You can go back to crying now, TWILIGHT fans.. oh, and overeating, too. Let’s not forget that important part of your day.

[Photo: Celebuzz]


Add a comment June 27, 2009
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Gossip Girl Sex Tape Gets $1m Bid

Leighton Meester
Leighton Meester (AP Photo)

From the Times of India
A sex tape starring American drama TV series “Gossip Girl” actress Leighton Meester has sparked a bidding war on the Internet, touching the $1 million mark.. reports that Kevin Blatt, the dealer behind socialite heriess Paris Hilton’s sex tapes, has said he is surprised by the level of interest in the footage, as the bids for the Meester video have exceeded $1 million.

Blatt also revealed that the footage features a younger Meester performing a striptease for a boyfriend.

“It’s very playful, actually. It’s not shot in high definition and looks like it has been shot using a video camera while they are both fooling around,” said Blatt.

Add a comment June 26, 2009
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